I’ve been wrestling with what to say about that. A poem? An essay about motherhood and all the wonderful things about Lucy? A list of that enumerates and explains this experience so far?
Nothing feels quite right.
Probably because nothing quite captures how I feel.
I’ve never loved this big. I’ve never worked this hard. I’ve never felt this tired. I’ve never been this happy.
One year of absolute, complete and all-encompassing joy with my beautiful, strong, smart, spunky, funny, fearless girl.
One year with my Lucy.
I’ve often said that perfection doesn’t exist in this universe. As it turns out, I was wrong. Because this –
It’s not like I didn’t know this was a possibility. Graham grew up here, and we’ve talked for years about potentially moving and living closer to family. Other places always just called a little louder.
How things have changed.
Let me back up.
I teased a big announcement a few weeks ago, and mentioned a few posts ago – back in August, maybe? – that lots of things were happening in our little corner of the world. So, now you know. The big news? We’ve moved! The lots of things? Making plans…to move.
We are officially residents of Virginia Beach.
I miss our village and our farmhouse fiercely. All the time. But now we’re closer to Graham’s parents, and Lucy will get to know them. That feels so important. (My parents helped us move, and plan to visit monthly. The beach and the grandbaby are good incentives to travel. 😊) Graham is so excited for Lucy to grow up at the ocean, and I’m interested in what life looks like in a beach town when it’s not summer.
We’ve set up shop in a lovely (20-year-old…what an adjustment!) house in a very nice neighborhood right on the water. The views are great.
We’ve got room now for a large, cozy couch, which Lucy and her BFF Merlin have put to good use already.
And Graham’s parents are just so elated to see Lucy as often as possible.
And y’all, Lucy has figured out how to climb the stairs at their house.
Her first birthday is next week, and she’s just growing so fast! It’s beautiful to watch.
Things are bittersweet around here, though. There’s so much to be happy about and grateful for. But every new beginning also means a goodbye, and this one hurts. I’m thankful for our time in an old home in the country, for the people we met there and the community that welcomed us and loved us and lifted us up whenever we needed it.
But you know what? You take yourself with you wherever you go, and all of that love is still part of me. It’s still part of us and the life we’ll build from here on out.
And I hope you’ll stay with me, too! I imagine there will be plenty to write about, being that I’m now a country mountain critter making a home in a busy beach city.
So cheers to the start of a new adventure, y’all! May it be good.
Another year, another visit to Loudoun County’s (maybe) most haunted house! And this one might be my last, for reasons that I’ll talk about in an upcoming post. (Are you curious? I hope so!)
Anyway…
Here she is, in all her crumbling glory, as of October 2024:
They say nothing lasts forever, and this house certainly won’t. In the years that I’ve been visiting, I’ve watched the old girl deteriorate a little more each season.
And who knows if the house’s story will outlast it. I hope I’ve done my part, at least, to capture some of the mystery. It will never be anyone’s home again, but perhaps it can be someone’s memory. Even if it’s only mine.
P.S. As I do every year, I’ll add this disclaimer: This house is on private property, and there are no trespassing signs posted, so please don’t go poking around where you’re not welcome. It’s easy enough to take a picture from the road.
This is just a quick post to say: Hi! I’m still here. I miss all of you something fierce! Things are happening around here in my little corner of Virginia, and I’m planning to be back in October with a weekly post. I’ve got a lot to share, let me tell you.
In the meantime, how are you? How are things? How is life?
All good here, if a bit crazy. Lucy’s good.
Pets are good.
Graham and I are tired. But good.
I can’t wait to get back to creating soon. I hope you’ll be here when I do.
My parents came to visit last week. Graham’s work has been insane, and some nights he’s been up until 3:00 a.m. or later. We were struggling. We were both tired, our house was a mess. The cat’s feeling neglected. I don’t even want to talk about laundry.
We needed help. And we got it, and more.
My family has always done music. I’ve posted about it a lot, and I’m just so elated that Lucy seems to love music, too. My dad brought out his mandolin, and she was just fascinated.
Absolutely entranced. And she wanted to try it for herself.
She cried when he put it away. She’s never done that before, with any toy. (We got it back out and gave it back to her, of course.)
These little moments, they just keep coming. Lucy is an easy baby, but life around her has been generally chaotic. These sweet new memories make all that chaos seem like nothing at all.
It’s a blurry photo, I know, but too good a (new) memory to not share.
Our sweet Lucy Blue-Eyes made her big debut over the weekend, and we’re so excited to start getting her out and about to meet out friends and see our community. She had a good time, I think, and was very relaxed about the whole thing.
Mama, on the other hand, was an absolute mess. I know she can’t live in three rooms of our house her whole life, but going out where the people and the germs are makes me so nervous. I want her to know the world, but I also want to keep her safe from the bad things. This, I’m sure, is a parent’s ultimate dilemma.
At any rate, we went to one of our favorite places, and Lucy got to show off a shirt from one of my very best friends, and we had a chance to catch up with a few people, and Lucy took a big nap in the middle of all of it, and it was good. We’ll do it again, I’m sure.
Okay, so I’m a little late on this. I’ve been busy, you know?
Normally, every year, I set very specific goals and make plans for how I’m going to accomplish them. This year, things are a little different and my only goal is to be a good mom to Lucy while I figure everything else out. So, I’m trying something new. A lot of my friends choose a “word of the year” every year, and I’ve never done it. But new year, new things to try. So, here we go. My word this year is:
EMBRACE
Embrace this new life. Embrace these new challenges. Embrace the joys and the hardships and the highs and lows. Embrace myself, and Graham, and most especially, baby Lucy, who is so fun to cuddle. Embrace all the changes and embrace every moment, and hold these precious, brief days with both arms.
A 3:00 a.m. thought. But also a post I’ve been meaning to write.
It’s hard to believe that this time last year, Lucy was not even in the plan. Now she’s here, and she’s my whole life.
This time last year, we’d just gotten Merlin. Now he rules the house. Don’t tell Annie.
This time last year, we were in the middle of renovating and updating and the sounds of construction were the constant soundtrack of our days. It’s quiet around here now, except when Lucy cries, which is not often.
This time last year, I don’t think I could have imagined what things would look like today. How tiring and wonderful and short the days would be, and how much love my heart could hold, and just how happy we could be in our cozy little farmhouse, the three of us and our crazy pets.
I wonder what things will look like this time next year. I’m excited for all the joys and memories to come.
Our sweet Lucy Blue-Eyes is two months (and two days) old!
She surprises me every day. Every day, something is new and fascinating. She’s learning to hold up her head, making lots of new noises, and looking more and more like her daddy. She is beautiful and strong, and I’m the luckiest. I love being her mom. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
BUT…
With Graham back at work and his work being about as busy as one would expect after several weeks away, being Lucy’s mom leaves me very little time for much of anything else.
(And what is time anyway? Wasn’t it midnight two hours ago?)
Anyway, I haven’t even had a minute every day to brush my teeth. We’re doing well, all of us, and we’re figuring things out, but we have no set routine at the moment. It’s not quite chaos, but it is very different from how life was before. That’s not a bad thing, I think. Just new.
So what does that mean for this blog?
I don’t know.
I’m planning to keep writing, at least once a week. I haven’t been keeping up with everyone’s posts, and I’d like to do that, too, because y’all inspire me to create and push myself and enjoy the process. But for now, I’m doing what I can.
A Virginia Writer's Diary 