Music, Memory, Elegy, and a Good Man (Revisiting an Old Poem)

I think this might have been the first poem I ever posted on the blog. I didn’t have a lot of followers then, and I don’t know that it’s gotten a lot of attention. I’m happy to have an opportunity to share it again, thanks to Annie at Tales of a Family, who posted a writing prompt for this week “inviting us to remember the men who shaped our lives – not always through grand speeches or big moments, but through the quiet lessons they lived every day.”

I’ve talked about my grandfather, James, in the collaboration Annie and I have been working on, about how his death prompted me to start my creative journey. But his life inspired me, too. He worked hard, he fought in World War II and lost friends doing it, he loved and supported his family (his wife, my beautiful grandmother and his six children), and he enjoyed the small, quiet moments you can carve out in a busy, not always easy life. He loved fishing, sitting on the porch swing, making music. He taught me to love those moments, too.

So here’s a poem for him, a memory and an elegy, that I’m grateful to revisit, called “My Grandfather’s Guitar.”


My grandfather’s guitar sits in a corner of my study
untouched, gathering dust.
When I was young and he was already old, it could pull notes straight from the air
through his fingers and into my ears.
I can hear them, though he is gone and his instrument’s gone quiet.
When I was young, not even ten,
he’d pick it up and start to play and then I’d go still,
stuck to one spot until he was done.
My grandfather’s guitar in his hands made magic, but I was too young to understand
that music is magic made real for a moment.
A fret and a twang and he’d made something that didn’t exist before
and wouldn’t again.
I sometimes imagine myself back there, wearing muddy tennis shoes with tangled hair,
just listening.
I can hear it, but no song ever sounds the same twice.

A Memory in the Wrong Shoes (A Haibun for Pride Month)

Our friends got married in June, their true real love made legal at last. And we were there, their people, all of us cheers and smiles and hugs and holding fast our hopes for a brighter tomorrow, as the One World spire lit up the gibbous sky in rainbows. And my toes, oh my toes.

Pride by the water
Two sweet lovers said I do
I wore the wrong shoes

**************

This is a poem for Rebecca’s May/June poetry challenge over at Fake Flamenco – to capture an imperfect moment in a haibun. (I’m bending her rules just a little bit, by about 15 words. I hope she doesn’t mind.)

It’s also a true story, and a celebration, a lamentation, a statement of support and hope. We aren’t where we were, back in 2016 when Graham and I attended this beautiful wedding of two very dear friends – not least because I now refuse to wear high heels – but we aren’t, as a society, where we’ll end up either. I have to believe that. I have to believe we’ll do better. I have to believe it for all the people I love who love each other but are afraid, for the people I love who can’t be their whole selves without fear and just live every day like everyone else.

You never have to be afraid with me, and I will always have a safe space for you in my heart and in my home. I’m proud of you. And I love you for exactly who you’ve always been meant to be.

A Place for You (A Memorial Day Poem)

I never met you.
I never got the chance.
You were here
and then gone
long before I came.
But I know your face
because it’s the same –
the same as mine,
as my grandfather,
my grandmother,
the people I love who
knew you and loved you
and mourned you every day.
They held you forever
near and dear in their hearts
where no one
no war
could take you away.
I carry you, too,
safe in that sacred place.

Mom and Me (A Mother’s Day Poem)

I am the sum of all the best parts
of my mom.
I share her two-toned eyes and her thick hair.
She taught me poems
and kindness,
and she chose a good man to be my dad.
I am a reflection of her heart,
a collection of her dreams –
all the love and all the things she wants but never had.
She gave those things to me.

Cheers to Us (A Poem, and Some Words)

Cheers to us!
To you and me,
to your guitar and my suede boots,
my voice and your white hat.
To the music
we make together,
and the laughs.
As seasons pass and time goes on,
I’m lucky every day that
you’re my dad.

My dad starts salvage radiation for prostate cancer later this month, and I’ve been thinking about him and holding him in my heart these last several days as his treatment plan becomes clear. He’s the happiest, most friendly person you’ll ever meet, and watching him struggle with this diagnosis has been heartbreaking. But he’s also strong and brave, and he’s going to show cancer why you don’t mess with a hillbilly and his guitar.

I know it’s odd to write this post now with Mother’s Day coming up here in the US, but cancer doesn’t choose a convenient time. So, this one’s for him. I’ll write one for my mom – who is going to be with him every step of the way – next week. But for now, please leave a few kind words for my sweet dad if you have a minute. He’ll see them and appreciate them, and so will I.

Pink Moon Lucy Blue (A Poem)

Watching your little girl play so carefree,
you think one day
I hope I can be
just like that.
But once upon a time you
were already a child too,
twirling and dancing under a twilight sky,
reaching for a mother’s steady hand
and knowing it would be there.
It hits you right where you stand:
Your time hasn’t gone.
It’s just moved on,
come full circle like the bright pink moon.
And like the moon,
it will turn again soon.
The well will never run dry
of daughters made mothers,
of mothers and daughters and the love they share,
heavy as a whole heart and light as air.

We Fight Still (A Poem for Women’s History Month)

They refused to take no
and then watch others go
make decisions for us.
They fought for our daughters, their daughters,
daughters and mothers all,
that our world be equal and just,
that our voices ring true and free
from every blue mountain, red hill, green valley.
We fight still.

************

It’s been way too long since I’ve participated in one of Rebecca’s poetry challenges over at Fake Flamenco, and this month’s challenge is a really good one. You should join in, too!

I’ve posted many poems for Women’s History Month, but this one – this year – it just hits different. I have a little girl, and I want everything for her. I want a world where she can be whatever she wants to be. And where her voice can be as loud, powerful, and important as anyone else’s. This poem was inspired by the women, past and present, who’ve fought for women’s rights all over the world. We’ve fought for our right to speak – to vote, to be in the room, to have a seat at the table, to lead – for generations, and it makes me angry that we still have to. But for Lucy, for all of us, I will fight, just like the many women who came before me.

Diabolical (A Poem)

What is evil, really?
A malicious act of agency, but also
an abject lack of empathy –
to accept the inhuman with complacency,
to offer hate and meanness gleefully,
to look upon the farcical face of cruelty and answer back:
“But the economy!”
History has a knack for becoming judge and jury.
When its eyes turn to you, what will your children’s children’s children see?

Women (A Poem)

Here’s good:
There is something so surreal and so absolutely,
achingly,
magically,
transcendently beautiful
about watching my mama rock
her granddaughter – my daughter – to sleep.
My heart can barely hold it.
And I know:
It’s not the wars that will keep us safe,
that will keep us going.
It’s the women.