Six Weeks of Lucy

/ Katie / 73 Comments

Y’all. This baby.

She’s incredible.

Wednesday marked six weeks since my sweet Lady Lucy’s arrival, and we are in love and elated and tired and busy and just so, so happy.

And tired. So tired. Very tired.

But she’s worth it. Every exhausted minute of it.

Honestly, it’s so much more easy than I worried it would be. And also more challenging. And just amazing.

One of these days, I will sit down and write about this whole experience – birth and postpartum, being a new mom, learning how to care for a tiny, perfect human. But right now, I’m all about the baby snuggles.

She’s growing and changing every day. She’s making eye contact, lifting her head, grasping at our fingers, staring at Merlin (who is patiently trying to teach her exactly what human hands are for, which is petting him, of course!), listening, watching, stretching, wiggling, and just being the most fascinating little creature I have ever encountered.

I won’t overshare about her here, because I’m sure you’d all get tired of it and wonder where all the poems and short stories went. And I will get back to writing those! Soon, I hope.

But for now, more snuggles. And coffee.

This is the life.

New Days (A Poem)

/ Katie / 13 Comments

Cloudy sky spitting snow,
and 364 to go.
One year gone and lessons learned
as another comes to take its turn –
new and old meet at the door
and cross the threshold.
For us
(the three of us):
Hope and joy,
love and light,
a bright dawn after a lonely night
and so many happy memories already.
These are truly the new days.
May they last and linger
and spread out
endless and infinite.

She’s here!

/ Katie / 32 Comments

Well, I suppose my note at the end of my last post ended up being a little prophetic, because our sweet lady Lucy Elizabeth arrived on Wednesday, November 22nd.

I suspected, through the whole pregnancy, that she’d arrive a little early.

She is perfect, and we are happy and exhausted, and whatever life was before her, now it’s so much bigger and better and brighter. She is our light, and we are going to have an amazing adventure together.

So, I’ll be taking a break from the blog for the next few weeks as I figure out this new parent thing. For how long, exactly? I’m not sure. I’ve still got plenty to write, and I’m not leaving forever. But in case I don’t come back before the new year, here’s wishing all of you a very happy holiday season and a wonderful new year! I wish you joy, love, and peace.

As for me? I’ll be over in my comfy chair, rocking a beautiful baby girl to sleep.

Thankful (A Poem)

/ Katie / 19 Comments

I breathe it in,
this feeling –
light as air and
heavy as hope –
and exhale.
I wish I could share it,
box it up
and tie it with a bow,
so you could know, too.
Or maybe you do,
down in your soul,
deep in the roots
of what makes you, you –
what makes us human –
the tug and pull
and steady, sturdy seed
that keeps us whole.
I’m thankful.
Thankful.
Thankful.

*A quick note! Graham has Friday off, so I’ll be taking a break, as well. I’ll be back on Monday, unless Baby Girl decides to make an early appearance. In the meantime, for all who celebrate, I wish you a wonderful, warm Thanksgiving! I hope it’s full of love and tasty food, and that you come away with a smile and a full belly.*

The nursery’s done!

/ Katie / 26 Comments

Well, mostly.

We still have a few things to organize and put away, and Merlin’s food will need to move, but otherwise, and finally, we have a nursery!

I’m so pleased with how it came out. We went back and forth about whether to put our books back on the shelves, but honestly, it makes me sort of happy that Baby Girl’s space, at least for now, will be full of books. That’s the reader and writer in me, I suppose.

And we love the wallpaper!

It’s the first time we’ve put wallpaper up in the house – well, our neighbor, who is amazing, did it for us – and I think it looks great. We definitely need a new rug, though. I ordered one that’s a little warmer and more neutral, so I hope it looks nice when it arrives. We shall see!

I know that Baby Girl will sleep in our bedroom for the first several months of her life, but it feels so good to have a room ready for her, all her own.

I just can’t wait to bring her home.

It’s Friday! (Time to finish the nursery.)

/ Katie / 12 Comments

And that’s it. That’s all I’m doing with this day. It is a priority. My only priority. Unless Baby Girl makes a surprise appearance, everything else can wait.

I’m 37 weeks pregnant today. She will be here before we know it, and while she has a place to sleep – we’ve set up a bassinet in our bedroom – I want her to have her own space. I want to bring her home to a room that feels like hers. And the good news is, if we can get this chaos (it’s all her stuff, in our parlor) under control…

…we’re in a good spot to make that happen!

Her room has been painted, and it’s ready to be organized. We’ve got clothes, and they’ve been washed. We’ve got diapers. We’ve got the crib, which is so much more complicated to put together than it needs to be, and I’ve been collecting art for this space since we decided to try for a baby.

It WILL get done.

Revisiting a Poem: “Going Gray”

/ Katie / 21 Comments

I wrote this poem in February of 2022, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the last couple of weeks. Here it is, so you can read it easily without leaving this point:

Going Gray

When my child asks
why my hair is going gray,
I will say:
“Those are my stardust streaks.”
I will tell her we’re all made
of earth and star stuff,
and one day, once again,
that’s what we’ll be.
And I’ll remind her
that it’s not a tragedy
to say goodbye, even though
it’s sad for a time,
because she can always
find me in the night sky.

At the time when I wrote it, we’d been talking about maybe trying for a baby, but hadn’t made a decision yet. We would, just about a week later. And what a journey we’ve had since then. One day, I’ll write about it, from start to finish, with all of its many ups and downs.

Today, as I’m sitting here, I’m just grateful. When I wrote “Going Gray,” I didn’t know for sure if I’d ever have children. I didn’t know for sure that I wanted a child, though I think I was about 80% there. Now, I can’t imagine making any other decision. I’m so excited for our Baby Girl. I’m so ready for her. I’m so elated to have a daughter on the way, and to know that we’re almost there. December 8th – her due date – is less than a month away.

And it’s incredible to think that one day, she’ll grow up, she’ll have her own feelings about motherhood, and about aging. And one day, hopefully a long time from now, we will have to say goodbye to each other. She’ll live a whole life, and for all of it, even when I’m gone, I’ll be her mother.

I hope I’m a good one.

And I hope that one day, she’ll read this poem, and know that I was thinking about her, even before I knew it myself.   

Another Monday…

/ Katie / 22 Comments

…another new Merlin spot. This one’s also an interesting choice.

Do you think he’s actually trying to tell me something? Like, maybe he’s more fond of water than I thought.

Doubt it.

And I have to admit, without the water running, this does seem to be a rather perfect cat bed – cozy space, right under the window, tucked away…

And of course, he’s gotten to use our beautiful, newly-installed clawfoot tub before me. Cats, y’all. Cats.

To decorate, or not to decorate?

/ Katie / 23 Comments

I love Christmas.

I’m not particularly religious, but I love the music, and the lights, and the cheer, and the way that people come together to enjoy food and good company. I can give or take presents. But everything else about the holiday just puts a big, silly smile on my face. You might say I’m “just like a kid at Christmas.” And you wouldn’t be wrong.

And so I’ve spent a fair amount of time this week wondering exactly how I want to handle Christmas this year. With Baby Girl due at the beginning of December, and knowing just how tiring and challenging those first weeks with a new baby are (and also taking into account that it’s cold and flu season), I’m under no illusions that we’re going to have a big family holiday. Frankly, no thank you. Next year, absolutely. Not this one. But I would like to do something to celebrate, and I’m really going back and forth about whether I should put up my tree and other decorations.

On the one hand, it will be our first Christmas together with Baby Girl, and I want it to be special. I’d love to have a picture of all of us in front of the tree.

On the other, decorating is work, and time, and energy. I could probably put things up just fine, but come January 5th, when the twelve days are over, will I really feel like taking things down and putting them away?

Sigh.

It’s not that big of a deal either way, truly. And I know that. But what would you do? To decorate, or not to decorate? Right now, amidst many others, that is certainly a question.