I said on Friday that I’d focus on happier content this week. Hopefully this delivers. 😊 I’ve gone back and forth about whether now is the right time to share, but when I started posting on this blog again back in 2020, I promised to be honest with my readers and unafraid to put myself out there.

See, I’ve been keeping a secret. It’s a pretty big one. Or, a very small one, depending on how you look at it.

Baby Girl Campbell. Due December 8, 2023.

Graham and I are elated, and so excited, and so grateful for the outpouring of love we’ve already received from so many people. At the beginning of this year – after a miscarriage that took months to resolve, scary health news in the family, and the loss of our beloved Gatsby-cat – I declared that 2023 would be the year of joy and abundance, and I can’t think of a more joyful thing than welcoming this little girl home. She will be the best early Christmas present ever.

It’s been an interesting time, though, for the last few months.

The Good:

I mean, is there anything sweeter than hearing a little baby’s heartbeat for the first time? Or seeing your tiny daughter squirm around on an ultrasound? It was fascinating seeing her but not feeling her yet. I’m excited for the moment I finally will. And I’m so impressed by and grateful for my body and its ability to do this. It took a little while for everything to feel real, and I’m still so anxious that something might go wrong. But I’m just trying to stay positive and think happy thoughts about the future. I had no idea you could love someone so much before you’ve even met them.

The Not-So-Good:

I’m learning lots of new things, really, such as the maximum distance one can stumble to a trash can before…well, we’ll just leave it there, how to fumble to the toilet six times per night in the dark without waking one’s partner, and how quickly Doordash can deliver a dozen iced donuts with rainbow sprinkles on an average Sunday. And while the vast majority of our prenatal testing has come back looking totally normal and very good, I did test positive as a carrier for one rare, recessive genetic condition. I was shocked, as there isn’t any history in my family. I didn’t know that most everyone is a carrier of at least one genetic condition. What a terrible time to learn, right? But Graham would have to be a carrier, as well, for Baby Girl to be at risk. His test results aren’t back yet, and we’ve learned that the chance of his being a carrier of the same condition is very, very low. And though the prognosis for this condition even two years ago would have been dire, new treatments are available today that are, frankly, miraculous. But it’s scary in the meantime. And I hate waiting.

The Big Picture:

I didn’t want to be a mom growing up. I didn’t want to be a mom even three years ago. I don’t know what changed, but something did, and now here we are. Being pregnant is strange and fascinating. It’s humbling and empowering all at the same time. I can’t wait to meet our daughter. I can’t wait to get to know her. I haven’t loved everything about pregnancy so far. I haven’t loved a lot of it, to be honest. But I do already love this little girl.

So, onward. I’ll be at fifteen weeks on Friday. I don’t know whether I want time to speed up or slow down, but I do know that come December, life will look very different indeed. I know you can never really be ready, but I’m ready. So I say, bring it on!