hope

How much can change…

/ Katie / 6 Comments

…in a year.

A 3:00 a.m. thought. But also a post I’ve been meaning to write.

It’s hard to believe that this time last year, Lucy was not even in the plan. Now she’s here, and she’s my whole life.

This time last year, we’d just gotten Merlin. Now he rules the house. Don’t tell Annie.

This time last year, we were in the middle of renovating and updating and the sounds of construction were the constant soundtrack of our days. It’s quiet around here now, except when Lucy cries, which is not often.

This time last year, I don’t think I could have imagined what things would look like today. How tiring and wonderful and short the days would be, and how much love my heart could hold, and just how happy we could be in our cozy little farmhouse, the three of us and our crazy pets.

I wonder what things will look like this time next year. I’m excited for all the joys and memories to come.   

New Days (A Poem)

/ Katie / 13 Comments

Cloudy sky spitting snow,
and 364 to go.
One year gone and lessons learned
as another comes to take its turn –
new and old meet at the door
and cross the threshold.
For us
(the three of us):
Hope and joy,
love and light,
a bright dawn after a lonely night
and so many happy memories already.
These are truly the new days.
May they last and linger
and spread out
endless and infinite.

The Year of Joy and Abundance

/ Katie / 12 Comments

That’s what I want this year to be. Graham and I have dealt with a lot of loss and sadness in the last several months.

Just yesterday, we attended a memorial celebration for a good friend who died, suddenly and tragically, of CJD. It’s an incredibly rare disease – he would have had a better chance of winning the lottery – and it took him quickly. I still can’t believe he’s gone. I expect to see him, still, when I walk into his favorite bar, sitting there, beer in hand, ready to chat and just have a good time. The celebration of his life yesterday was wonderful, full of friends and food and music. He would have loved it. It felt odd that he wasn’t there. He was always up to celebrate.

I went to bed last night feeling grateful for my good health and for Graham’s. And for our life – our beautiful home, our crazy animals, our supportive families and our awesome friends. We have good things. I just want more.

This year, I want to gain, and not lose. I want to celebrate, and not mourn. I want to laugh without feeling bad about it, and smile with my whole face. Talking to some of our friends yesterday, they’re feeling the same. There’s just been so much loss over the last few years, for everyone, all over the world. And so this is what I wish for all of us:

A year of joy and abundance.

So if you’re out there, feeling like we do, know that I’m thinking of you. I’m pulling for you. I’m sending you positive thoughts and happy vibes and so much love. You deserve it.

I do, too.

Please (A Poem)

/ Katie / 13 Comments

*Thank you for your kind words and condolences. Knowing that you’re out there, thinking of us, just means a lot. Gatsby was one in a million, and I will always, always miss him. He gave us everything he could for his entire long and happy life, and he loved us so much. So in this new year, I aspire to honor him and remember him by loving like he did – unconditionally, and in your face, and completely.*

Welcome, New Year,
and please be kind –
I’ve had enough time
grieving.
I’m tired of
tears and loss,
of waiting,
and of fears that
joy is fleeting.
I hope that things are
better
brighter
in this space you’re making,
and that you bring
new light
and hope.
I’ve done my best,
and I’m still trying,
but a little help
would sure be nice.
We’ll create something
together,
I know.
May it be –
please let it be –
something good.