Old traditions now
become new.
I will never get tired of building
this beautiful life
with you,
my Lucy Blue.

Old traditions now
become new.
I will never get tired of building
this beautiful life
with you,
my Lucy Blue.

Or so they say. I think practice, more importantly, makes fun, especially when it comes to music. There’s really nothing in the world quite like sitting down with cool people and making good noise.
And y’all, I am so happy and proud to report that Lucy agrees.
A little musician in the making. 😊 My heart is so happy.
(But we never did quite figure out how to play the song we were working on, because Lucy just really needed to strum on the instruments instead. Which, honestly, was so much better.)
Y’all, my heart is so happy.
My parents came to visit last week. Graham’s work has been insane, and some nights he’s been up until 3:00 a.m. or later. We were struggling. We were both tired, our house was a mess. The cat’s feeling neglected. I don’t even want to talk about laundry.
We needed help. And we got it, and more.
My family has always done music. I’ve posted about it a lot, and I’m just so elated that Lucy seems to love music, too. My dad brought out his mandolin, and she was just fascinated.

Absolutely entranced. And she wanted to try it for herself.

She cried when he put it away. She’s never done that before, with any toy. (We got it back out and gave it back to her, of course.)
These little moments, they just keep coming. Lucy is an easy baby, but life around her has been generally chaotic. These sweet new memories make all that chaos seem like nothing at all.
I’ve mentioned before that I come from a pretty musical family. It’s how we celebrate, how we have fun, and how we share special moments and memories. And so it doesn’t surprise me at all that around the time I was born, my parents wrote me a song.
I don’t think I realized just how special that was until I was much older, and now I’m so grateful to have it, to hear it still, and to be able to share it now with you.
That’s my mom singing. My dad’s best friend produced the recording (many years ago). And he’s also drawn an adorable onesie for Baby Girl, who seems to already love music, based on how she squirms around in my belly when I sing to her.

How perfect is it? Seriously. He even captured Merlin’s magnificent tail! It was meant to be a guest book at our baby shower, but I just couldn’t let anyone sign it, so our guests signed a plain onesie, and this one will go in a frame that she can have as a keepsake.
At any rate, I’ve been trying for the last couple of weeks to write a song for Baby Girl, and I’ve made some progress. But I’m not there yet. As with many things in life, I think it’s just going to come to me all at once, when the time is right. Doubtless the time will be right when I’m preoccupied with something else, but that’s fine. Special things are worth a pause in the action.
I remember dandelion greens. In the warming days of spring and the sweltering days of summer, dandelion greens – stewed, fried, sauteed, cold and crunchy with salt and vinegar in my favorite red-rimmed bowl – growing wild all around the hillside and down into valley. Sweating under the white hot sun, pulling dandelion greens from the thick, fragrant grass with my small, sticky hands beside my mother, stooped over to find the very best, the very plumpest, the very brightest.
I remember those days with my mother. Daddy worked nights at the mine, and he’d come home early in the morning covered from head to toe in coal dust. We’d wait for him together in the kitchen, eager and relieved to hear the roar of his engine coming up the driveway. He’d kick his boots off on the carport, and my mother would open the door for him and kiss his blackened cheek.
“Good night and good morning,” she’d tell him.
“Good morning, Daddy,” I’d pipe in from my spot at the table in the corner.
Mama named me Louise after her grandmother, but Daddy always called me Weed.
“I think you’re even taller than yesterday,” Daddy would say to me.
He’d smile at Mama, get cleaned up, and we’d eat our breakfast together before he went to bed for the day and my mother and I got to the important business of running the house. And in the early evenings, before he went back to work, we’d all sit down together for a dinner that Mama and I planted and gathered and cooked.
I knew plenty of other children whose fathers worked in the mine, and though we didn’t show it on the outside, on the inside, we were an anxious and sorry lot. I got used to seeing my friends pulled away from the classroom during the day, always for some tragic news. That, at least, I didn’t have to worry about. But the fear that Daddy wouldn’t come home in the morning, that we’d never sit at our little table and laugh over buttered grits and field greens again, that fear never left me.
“Can’t Daddy do something else?”
My constant question.
“What do you think he should do instead?”
My mother’s answer.
I didn’t know what he might do instead. But I sure knew that I’d rather have him home and safe, even if it meant we had to eat dandelion greens every day for the rest of our lives.
When eventually the inevitable happened, I can’t remember that I was surprised. We got the call in the early hours of the morning that there’d been an accident, and that Daddy had been injured. He was alive, which felt most important, but he’d be laid up for months. His back, Mama said.
“I’m fine,” he told us. “It’ll take more than some faulty equipment and a stroke of bad luck to lick me.”
Mama nodded, but picked at her fingernails. I said nothing.
Daddy must have seen the worry on my face, because he added, “You and me, Weed, we’re as hardy as they come.”
Mama got a job. She had to. But she told me it wouldn’t be so bad, and that I could come with her when I wasn’t in school, because she’d be watching a little boy about my age, and we could play together while she cleaned the house.
“Who is he?” I asked.
“You don’t know him,” my mother answered, “because he goes to school at home. He has his own teacher.”
“Is he nice?”
“I’m sure he is,” Mama said. “I’ve been told he has very good manners.”
I winced. Manners weren’t something we talked about all that much.
“Oh, don’t look like that, Louise. He’s not a different species. Y’all will get along just fine.”
Mama was hardly ever wrong, but no one’s right all the time.
The first day I met the boy, I found him sitting in his back yard, setting up empty cola bottles on the lip of an old stone well. On the covered porch, I saw a toy bow and arrow.
“You a good shot?” he asked me.
“Don’t know,” I said. “I’ve never tried.”
“I’ll show you,” he said. “I’m Malcolm.”
“Louise,” I answered.
“Wheeze?”
“No! Loo-eeze.”
“That’s a funny name,” he said.
“It isn’t,” I insisted.
“Well, I’ve never heard it before, so it must be,” he said.
Things did not improve from there. Malcolm was a good shot, and he tried to teach me, but he had a critique for every little thing I did, even beyond backyard archery.
“You’re eating your soup wrong,” he told me one day at lunch.
“What’s wrong with how I eat?”
And days later, “That’s not how you’re supposed to climb trees.”
“Well, why don’t you show me, if you’re so good at it,” I retorted.
“I’m not allowed,” he said. “But I know wrong when I see it.”
All the while, Mama worked away in his house, one of the largest in town, and she did it with a smile on her face, even when he only had a sneer for her.
“My mother says the curtains were dusty yesterday,” he told her one afternoon.
“Well,” my mother said, keeping her voice as mild and as even as I’d ever heard it, “I’ll make extra sure to get them clean today.”
Driving back to our own place that night, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any longer.
“Malcolm’s mean and snobby,” I told her. “I don’t know why you put up with him.”
“Louise,” she started.
But I couldn’t stop. “If I acted that way, you’d make me go and pull my own switch. He’s not nice, Mama.”
“I know that, honey,” she said. She brushed a hand through her hair. “But I’m going to tell you something important, so listen real close, okay?”
“Okay,” I said.
“Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t like, and we have to put up with people we don’t like, because there are more important things than our feelings. Your daddy can’t work right now. We need money. I’d work for someone half as nice as Malcolm and his mother if I had to, because right now, that’s what I can do to take care of us. Understand?”
I nodded, my face aflame and shame radiating from every part of my body. Mama was always looking out for us.
“You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to,” she went on, “but I like knowing you’re close by. And maybe you can teach Malcolm a thing or two. You know, his world is real small, smaller than mine or yours or Daddy’s. His mother thinks that’s best, but maybe he’s mean because he doesn’t know any better.”
I went to work with Mama the next day resolved to do better myself, and I decided that I could start by trying to be nice to Malcolm. Maybe I could teach him something. And so when we went out back to play after lunch, I told him all about Mama’s garden and how we’d grow things to eat, and how I was learning to cook. And as I made us crowns out of white wildflowers, I told him all about dandelion greens.
“They’re kind of like these,” I said, and pointed to the flowers I was picking. “They grow wild, but they taste real good.”
While my fingers weaved delicate stems together, I told him about the afternoons Mama and I spent outside together, how that was our time to talk and sing and laugh, and how proud I was that Mama knew so much about plants and how to find the best ones. Then I popped the finished crowns on his head and mine and said, “We match!”
“You’re so weird, Louise,” he said. He got up and walked inside, and left me in his back yard to wonder what on earth I’d done wrong this time.
I didn’t go back to work with Mama the next day, or any of the days after that. While she was gone, I missed her fiercely. I looked after Daddy, and in the evenings, I made us dinner on my own, as best I could. Eventually, Malcolm’s family moved away.
“Somewhere up near Richmond,” Mama said.
Daddy got strong again and went back to work, and Mama and I resumed our usual routine. One day, out in the heat gathering stinging nettle for soup, I asked her: “Do you ever wonder what’ll happen to Malcolm?”
She stood up straight and thought for a moment. Then she said, “I imagine he’ll live some kind of life. Not like us, but it’ll be something.”
Sometimes, when I think back on those days, I wonder about Malcolm, about where he ended up and what kind of man he is today. I wonder about Mama and Daddy, too. I wish I could ask them questions. I wish I could go back, even for a minute, even for a second, and feel the hot sun on my back, the dew and dirt on my fingers. The fact of the matter is, we ate dandelion greens because they were free. They sprung up around us like lightning bugs in June, and it cost us nothing to gather food from our own land. Nothing but time.
I think back, and I wish I’d had more of that time. I’d spend hours now, if I could, picking dandelion greens. Maybe it’s true what they say, despite this mean old world and the people in it like Malcolm and his mother. Maybe the best things in life really are free.
************
Thank you for reading! This is the sixth of twelve stories I’ll write for my 2023 Short Story Challenge. The theme this year is: Wild.
Here are the first five, if you’d like to read them:
I hope you join me and write some stories of your own this year! It’s fun, and I hope this will be a happy year full of good stories. But just reading is fine, too, and I’m glad you’re here.
The next story will be posted at the end of July.

Margaret asked,
“Do you want his letters?”
And my grandmother said no.
My grandmother’s memory
of her brother
never faded.
Year upon year
to her,
he remained crystal clear.
And one day,
his fiancé,
who’d kissed his coffin
when he came home,
asked if she should return the letters
he wrote to her.
“Those belong to you,”
my grandmother answered.
Letters and pictures –
these are the things we hold onto.
But it’s the memories
that keep our loved ones
with us
when they’re gone.
We –
not words or pictures
or gravestones –
we become their legacies.
Not me! I swear! (And you can’t see whether or not I have my fingers crossed.)
If you’ve been here for a while, you know that I love a good ghost story. But I confess, I do feel a little disconcerted in the dark. I can’t sleep in a totally dark room. I don’t like walking alone at night, despite living in a very safe (and thankfully, relatively well-lit) village. I love night time, when everything’s quiet and it feels like you’ve got the world to yourself. But I’m just not a big fan of the dark.
Unless we’re talking 90s TV.
90s kids – know where I’m going?
One of my favorite shows growing up was called Are You Afraid of the Dark? It featured a cast of kids who came together around a campfire every week to tell spooky stories. And guys, some of the episodes were genuinely, and still are surprisingly, scary. I loved it. And I’ve been revisiting it lately in my downtime. I still love it, and despite the obvious 90s fashions (bright colors! plaid! baggy jeans!), it actually holds up pretty well! (If you want to check it out, it’s streaming on Paramount+.)
On top of that, watching some of the episodes today, I feel like it explains a lot about the adult I’ve become. I love old houses. I love antiques. I love creepy stories. I love telling them around the fire in my back garden.

I can’t walk into a magic shop – or really any curiosity shop – without hearing (in my head) “That’s Sard-O! No mister. Accent on the DO.” Isn’t that funny? These things we love when we’re children, they never really leave us. And to tell you the truth, I don’t think I’ve ever really, completely grown up.
I still love cartoons and kids’ books. I absolutely will look for fairies in the meadow on a foggy morning. I even laugh at fart jokes. (Not always. They have to be good fart jokes, if such a thing exists.) And yes, despite knowing that there’s nothing there that isn’t there in the light, I am still afraid of the dark. It’s okay. Everyone’s afraid of something.
And frankly, I hope I never lose my sense of silliness. I hope I always get a little shiver thinking about what might be lurking behind me in a dark hallway. I hope I continue, all my life, to seek out magic.
So, yeah, I’ve put it out there now: Who’s afraid of the dark? Me. It’s me. Hi. What about you?
This photo popped up in my memories earlier this week.

Apparently, I took it in May of 2007. I don’t remember the when, but I do remember the why. Graham had just come home from work, and Gatsby immediately curled up right beside him as soon as he sat down. And stayed there. It was just such a sweet moment I felt like I had to capture it, and now, all these years later, I’m so glad I did.
I look back now – at how young Graham looked, at how much Gatsby always loved us, at how lucky it was that I had a camera nearby – and I’m grateful. I’m also reminded that we are legacies for the people (and animals) that we love. Even when they’re no longer with us, we carry them in our hearts, and so they’re never really gone, as long as we’re still here to love them and remember them. How very powerful that is.
I’m meant to be posting a short story today, but 2022 – awful year that it’s been – had other plans for me, it seems. And 2022 – the worst year I think I’ve ever had – will just have to settle for eleven short stories. And this will be my last post of the year, because right now, I don’t have anything left in me. But also because Gatsby deserves this last reflection, this moment just for him.
Last night, we came home from dinner and found Gatsby on the bed. It looked like he’d fallen asleep and just not woken up. He looked peaceful and cozy. It was the best way I can I think of for him to go, comfy and safe in one of his very favorite spots, but I feel broken, and sad, and empty, and lost, because he’s gone.
I knew this day would come. Gatsby was an old man – sixteen, and a Maine Coon. I’ve been dreading it for the last couple of years, as he’d gotten sick and then better, and as we’d learned about some health issues that likely couldn’t be fixed. But you’re never ready, even when you know it’s inevitable, to say goodbye.
But today, I have to.
Gatsby was the world’s most wonderful cat. That tiny little kitten grew into a big, purring, fluffy sweetheart.

He was sweet, and loving, and floppy, and in his younger days, really playful. He loved watching birds through the window, and lately on TV, too, and he loved to snuggle up with us at night. He loved Graham, and me, and he loved us so well that his absence today feels acute and awful. But that doesn’t change that he lived a long happy life, and that he loved us, and that we loved him.

I will love him every day for the rest of my life. I never want to forget his meow, the way he purred, the softness of his fur, the glow in his golden eyes, his big rabbit back feet, and the way he’d latch on to me with one claw when he didn’t want me to leave. I never want to forget him.
My sweetest boy: You’ll always be in my heart.

2022 really has been a terrible year for us, and to have it end this way is gut-wrenching and heartbreaking. At this point, I’m honestly afraid of what comes next. I am so tired of being sad. But I hope 2023 is better, and brighter, and full of the kind of love Gatsby showed us every day.
Gatsby
Best Cat
Spring, 2006 – December 29, 2022

In my family, it’s not a reunion unless there’s music. There’s always a guitar or three, someone singing, a harmonica and a mandolin in the background – you get the picture. A family day just isn’t complete without some good noise. And now that Graham’s family is part of my family and vice versa, it seems only right to share the music. Which is exactly what we did this past weekend.
And of course, I want to share it with all of you, too. 😊
So, here’s a favorite of mine and my dad’s, written by Gillian Welch:
And here we are goofing off on a crowd-pleaser, Wagon Wheel, with a family singalong and a cute mash-up.
We had so much fun, and I think the family did, too. I hope we all get to come together again soon, but until then, I’m grateful for the time we had, and for the happy memories.