We have a bathroom!

More accurately, we have two and a half. But the one upstairs is officially renovated and done! It still needs some finishing touches, but I’m very happy with it.

I’m so glad we chose warm, bright colors. The green felt like a bit of a risk, but the room gets so much light, I think it really works, especially with the white tile in the shower. It just looks so fresh and clean.

And we were able to install the clawfoot tub!

We’ve set it up so that we have a shower and toilet room, and then a separate little annex for the tub, a closet, and another vanity, and I think that really works, too. It’s also an example of living in a historic home – you just have to use the space you have the best that you can.

Now that this one’s done, we’ve really only got some cosmetic work left. Painting, fixing a few ceilings that look cracked and tired, finishing up with shutters and a few small items on the exterior. It’s not much, is my point. We could do more, but with Baby Girl set to make her debut in a month, we’ve got some other stuff to focus on. 😊

So, onward, as always. It’s going to be an interesting few weeks as we wait for her to get here, but at least I’ve got a nice, pretty bathroom to hang out in, in the meantime!

35 Weeks (or, Getting Real About Writing, Prep, and Overall Chaos)

I’m 35 weeks pregnant. Or, more accurately, I’m 35 weeks and 3 days pregnant. If you’ve ever been pregnant, you’ll know that those three days, at this stage, definitely, absolutely matter.

I came at 34 weeks and 2 days, which means that I’m officially more pregnant than my mother has ever been, which is a strange feeling. And my own Baby Girl does not seem to be in a similar hurry at this point, which I’m definitely grateful for. I want her to stay in there and grow and get strong for as long as she needs to. She’s currently squirming near my belly button, and I’m so thankful that she’s there and safe and, as far as I can tell, pretty darn happy in her little water bed. But y’all, I’m so ready to meet her.

This hasn’t been a journey of nine months. From the time that we decided to try for a baby, through our horrible miscarriage, up to now, Graham and I have been waiting for this moment for almost two years. I’m ready for go time. I’m not afraid to give birth. I’m not worried about the pain. I’m just ready. There is one way for her to come into this world, and that’s out of me. I’m not scared. I’m excited.

But I’m also exhausted, both mentally and physically. I can’t get comfortable – ever, really, but especially at night. I can’t sleep. I have to pee all the time. My back and hips hurt. My belly feels tight and itchy. Some days, I can’t get enough food. Some days, even the thought of crackers makes me want to vomit. My feet and ankles and fingers are swollen. And though I’m not particularly weepy or grouchy, when I do feel an emotion – any emotion – I feel it more deeply and for more time than I think I ever have before. Pregnancy is crazy. And empowering, humbling, magical…

As we get closer to her due date, I find that I’m having trouble focusing on much of anything. I can’t write the way I normally do, because I can’t really give anything my full attention for more than, like, 15 minutes at a time. Thus, the multi-part short story to finish out the year. It’s the only way I can really get it done. And while we have everything I think we’ll need when Baby Girl arrives, we haven’t set up our nursery. Everything is just sitting in our parlor. It’s organized, but it’s certainly not where I want it to be.

We’ll get there. She has a place to sleep, clothes, diapers… We’re going to be okay. Even though we’re not quite as put together as I’d hoped at this point, and with the ongoing renovation work, things are a little less than ideal, we’re going to be fine.

And I feel like I ought to just get used to that feeling moving forward. Plans? Eh, good luck. Expectations? Keep them nice and low. Boundaries? Yes, needed, set them now. I am learning to be okay with chaos.

I don’t know what this blog will look like once she’s here. I’d like to keep writing and posting. I plan to. I love reading your work. I’m hoping that even if I have to pull back for a while, I won’t go radio silent. We shall see. But for now, know that I’m grateful to you for inspiring me, engaging with me, enjoying what I create, and sticking with me. These next few months will look different, but who knows? Different could be just what I needed. Different could be perfect.

And no matter what, there will be so much love in our little farmhouse. I wonder if Baby Girl knows, even now, just how very loved she is. Soon enough, she will.

A Tragedy Family, Part 1 (A Short Story)

*A quick note: Yes, this is Part 1. I anticipate posting this story in three parts, and it will have to do for the rest of the year’s short story challenge. It’s going to be a good one, at least. 😊 I’ll write more about why I’ve decided to post it this way next week, but for now, enjoy! And thank you for reading!*

Tragedy runs in my family. Or, I should say, my family runs Tragedy. We used to, anyway. Falls from grace, catastrophic accidents, self-fulfilling prophecies of doom and ruin – those run in my family, too. But I don’t think any of us anticipated this particular calamity.

I suppose, that’s the thing about murder.

It happened like this. The sun rose silent and peaceful over Tragedy, and, though no one knew it yet, over the corpse of the late Cassius Fugate, just recently deceased. In the warm orange light of a new day, with the dawn casting a rosy shadow on his sunken cheeks, it might have been easy to believe that he was sleeping, quiet and still, his head propped delicately on a mossy gray stone just inside the village green. But from this sleep, Cassius would never wake.

Or perhaps it happened like this. Cassius Fugate spent the last days of his life investigating the inner working of the Holder family, who’d long controlled the goings-on and the unpredictable financial fortunes of Tragedy, and who, in the last several months, had lost their beloved matriarch, Lorelai Robinette Holder. Exactly what Cassius thought he’d find, no one was quite sure. But Small Town America surely does love a villainous family, and Cassius had just taken over Tragedy’s local newspaper from his grandfather, a man who’d long since washed his hands of any real reporting and seemed to enjoy the more social aspects of journalism. Unlike the dogged and dauntless Cassius, Lucius was a man of fine tastes and pretty words.

The village’s adjustment to this abrupt and uncivil change of style was not exactly pleasant, and Cassius dealt with lots of accusations of “stirring the pot” and of “raking up mud” in the last days of his life. Just like me, he’d grown up in Tragedy, but the town seemed pretty ready to disown him, by the end. People can be vicious.

On his last day, Cassius caught up to me walking home from the coffee shop.

“The littlest Holder,” he called me.

“Hi, Cassius,” I answered. “You know we’re the same age. We graduated together.”

“I’m aware,” he said. “What’s got you out and about today?”

“Same thing as you,” I said. “Work, life, the inevitable need for caffeine and sustenance.”

“Ah,” he said, as if I’d given him an opening. “So it’s not the reading of your grandmother’s will?”

“That was yesterday.”

“And how did it go?”

“Well, Cassius,” I deadpanned, “about as you’d expect. Tears, dirges, a few outbursts from Uncle Sean. We’re broke, you know. I know you know.”

“Are you? I didn’t know,” he said.

Neither of us believed him.

“What are you after, Cassius?”

“Just a fine conversation with a pretty lady,” he said.

“Sure,” I answered. “Then you should probably move on.” Already, his face started to turn a delightful shade of bright pink. “What was it you used to call me? Ah, yes, I remember: ‘Moon-face Millie.’ And a few others, I think?”

Cassius was silent.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, Cassius. I got nothing for you.”

He sputtered out an apology and then added, “That was a long time ago, Millie. I’ve grown as a person since then.”

“Lucky for you,” I said, “so have I.”

And I left him there, on the corner of Schoolhouse Lane and River Road. It was the last I’d ever see of him alive, and the last public interaction he appears to have had.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

My family might.

To be continued…

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Nobody tell him…

I know I said I’d have October’s short story out today, and I’m working on it. It’ll be out on Friday instead, and I think you’ll like it. It’s a little different from my usual stuff.

For now, there’s this:

This is the bench in our new shower. It’s also Merlin’s new favorite spot. Merlin doesn’t like to get wet. Eventually, these two things will be in conflict with each other.

But not today, so I suppose he can have it for the moment. Silly cat.

This year’s visit to the (maybe) most haunted house in Loudoun…

In what is becoming one of my favorite traditions for the spooky season, I stopped by the (maybe) most haunted house in Loudoun County again this year.

I’ve posted about it since 2020. Is it the most haunted in Loudoun County? I don’t know. But I do know, as of now, it’s still standing, though for how long is anyone’s guess.

Here it is, just yesterday:

Not much change, I think, from last year.

It’s little more than a ruin now, and has been for some time. I don’t think it’s been inhabited since the 1980s, possibly before, and it’s fascinating and sad to watch it crumble. You can see signs that it was once a beloved, well-kept home – the delicate dental molding at the front, what was once a fireplace on the second floor, remnants of bright white paint on the exterior bricks.

It’s certainly not a home anymore. But whether it’s empty? Well, who can say for sure?

P.S. As I did last year and the years before, I’ll add this disclaimer:  This house is on private property, and there are no trespassing signs posted, so please don’t go poking around where you’re not welcome. It’s easy enough to take a picture from the road.

*And one more quick note: October’s short story will be posted one day late, on November 1st. I think it’s going to be a good one, so check back if you’re interested!*

Is my house haunted?

When Graham and I decided to buy an old house, and in the process of looking for just the right one, a surprising number of people asked us if we were worried about ghosts. And the short answer is, no, not especially.

I believe in ghosts. I always have. And I’ve been to a few places I’m certain are really, truly haunted. But I’m not particularly afraid of ghosts, and as we toured historic homes, I wasn’t concerned that we might be walking into our own ghost story.

We did look at one home – it was our second choice, actually – that I felt pretty certain had a ghost or two.

But our house? No, I don’t think it’s haunted.

It’s a question we get a lot. Every time someone comes to visit for the first time, they usually ask. And I can’t blame them! This is, after all, a very old house in a very old village with a cavalry battle in its history. There’s certainly been a lot of opportunity for this house to acquire a spirit or two.

And sometimes, I wonder if I might be wrong.

Often, people will suggest we do a ghost hunt. They’ll offer, and talk about how exciting it would be, and how their friends are really into that kind of thing. And…just no. Y’all, I have to live here. Why would I want to invite the possibility of being frightened in my own home?

This house is cozy. It’s happy. I’ve always felt like it’s a happy space. And so, even if there is a ghost or two roaming around, I don’t think they have any intention of bothering us. I feel lucky to live here, and grateful. A house doesn’t have to have a ghost story to have a story. I’m fortunate to be part of this one.  

Marvelous, Musical Keepsakes

I’ve mentioned before that I come from a pretty musical family. It’s how we celebrate, how we have fun, and how we share special moments and memories. And so it doesn’t surprise me at all that around the time I was born, my parents wrote me a song.

I don’t think I realized just how special that was until I was much older, and now I’m so grateful to have it, to hear it still, and to be able to share it now with you.

That’s my mom singing. My dad’s best friend produced the recording (many years ago). And he’s also drawn an adorable onesie for Baby Girl, who seems to already love music, based on how she squirms around in my belly when I sing to her.

How perfect is it? Seriously. He even captured Merlin’s magnificent tail! It was meant to be a guest book at our baby shower, but I just couldn’t let anyone sign it, so our guests signed a plain onesie, and this one will go in a frame that she can have as a keepsake.

At any rate, I’ve been trying for the last couple of weeks to write a song for Baby Girl, and I’ve made some progress. But I’m not there yet. As with many things in life, I think it’s just going to come to me all at once, when the time is right. Doubtless the time will be right when I’m preoccupied with something else, but that’s fine. Special things are worth a pause in the action.

I can see it!

And it’s going to be lovely.

Work on the upstairs bathroom continues, and we’re almost there!

It might be hard to tell, but we really don’t have very much left to do. And by we, I mean our contractors, because yeah, I am not skilled enough to lay tile correctly and not strong enough to carry a clawfoot tub up a very narrow set of stairs.

I’m eager for this project to be done, because next up on my list is finishing the nursery. And with less than seven weeks to go before Baby Girl is due to make her debut, it feels like we’re already cutting it close.

But, deep breaths. Everything will work out. And we’ll have a pretty new bathroom, too.

What makes a good ghost story?

Halloween and Christmas are my two favorite holidays, and I’d have a really hard time choosing between them. But there is one thing that I love that’s definitely more Halloween, and that’s a good ghost story.

(As you can imagine, A Christmas Carol is an absolute forever favorite. Christmas and ghosts? Yes, please!)

But over the last few weeks, as I’ve been sitting a lot, thinking about writing without actually writing much, I’ve been pondering: What makes a good ghost story? What elements come together to make something truly spooky? Or sad. Or happy. Not every ghost story has to be scary. Right?

Or should it?

When I think about my favorite ghost stories, there isn’t really anything consistent among them. Some are scary. Some are psychological. Some are funny.

I love BBC’s Ghosts, which is funny and heartwarming and about as far from creepy or spooky as you can get. I was really struck by the quiet, tense storytelling of I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House. Netflix’s The Haunting of Hill House is sort of a revelation for psychological hauntings – the things that haunt us not because they’re real ghosts, but because they’re our ghosts. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman is sweet and sad. Jonathan Stroud’s Lockwood and Co. series (the books, but the show on Netflix, as well) is such an interesting exercise in building an alternate world that feels close to our own, but is one we definitely wouldn’t want to live in. And certainly some of the old stories, like The Turn of the Screw and The Tell-Tale Heart, they stick with me. That building sense of dread, there’s really nothing else like it.

All of that to say, there are so many components, I think, that can make a really good ghost story. And some that can make an otherwise great story feel hokey and silly. Jump scares are fun, but they need to be used sparingly for maximum impact. There’s more to fear in what you don’t see, what you imagine and build up in your head, than in what you do see.

I’m rambling, I know. But I’m curious. What are your favorite ghost stories? What draws you in, or pushes you away? How do you like to see ghost stories end? Do you like to be scared in the first place?

I do, within the secure confines of my comfy chair and cozy living room. And that’s the power of stories, isn’t it? To be scared – or sad, or angry, or worried – but ultimately safe.