It’s Monday morning. You wake up, crawl out of bed, find the caffeine, open your laptop, and there it is – the list. Or maybe that’s just me. I make a weekly to-do list in Excel. It’s color-coded. At any rate, you look at your list and think, “Oh man, there just aren’t enough hours…”
And that’s me, this week.
My color-coded list is full of time-consuming tasks, and I don’t know how I’m going to manage. But I will. I’ve done it before. And I’m excited about the work I’m doing (including my short story for June!), so I’m grateful. But man, I wish I had more hands and more time.
Don’t we all?
Weeks like this remind me to be thankful for the quieter times, and to really soak in those still, carefree moments. I’ll get back there eventually.
I want to be wild – to roar at the sky and sing with the wind, to bloom alongside the flowers and reach like the trees. I want to be free – to think in cycles and centuries, and dance with the darkest memories, and shine like the brightest stars. I want to see – to feel it all, hold it all, to cradle it here in the palm of my hand, and know that I know so little, and everything.
In last night’s pajamas, throw together: Ambition, with a dash of anxiety. Just a sprinkle of focus, and a pinch of “I got this!” Add a cup of coffee. (Make that two, actually…) Shake and mix well. Serve with a side of “Oh, hell, I forgot about that…” The Monday Special: Order up!
They say, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” and knowing I can choose, I’d certainly rather venture, even if it means I lose. See, it so happens that I know a little something about nothing, that sad default, that frustrating non-finish line. Nothing: What I say when I can’t find the words. Nothing: What I do when the world is too much. Nothing: What changes when I don’t. Nothing, safe though it may be, just isn’t enough for me.