Personal Essays

Progress! (Or, I Am So Tired of Tile.)

/ Katie / 13 Comments

It’s looking like an actual room again!

We’re coming into the home stretch on the basement bathroom, and it’s just looking really good, if I do say so myself. We’ve spent countless hours at this point choosing tile – tile for the floor, tile for the shower – and if I never have to think about tile again, I’ll be a happy woman. (Note that this is not possible as we will also be renovating our kitchen and master bathroom…)

Now, we’re on to choosing a vanity countertop and mirrors, with fixtures to be installed shortly. I’m thinking maybe a marble look for the countertop? I think that would go nicely with the black and white floor and the (yes, we went for it) pink tiles in the shower. I really wanted gold fixtures for the sink and shower, but alas, they are SO MUCH MORE expensive than chrome or nickel. Choices, choices. No matter what we do, I know it will look and function better than it did before. And I also realized earlier this week that I have no “before” pictures of this bathroom. You’ll just have to trust me that it was…less than perfect. (Read: It felt an awful lot like a dark, damp, small hole in the wall with just the bare basics. I hated it. I was embarrassed when people had to use it.)

Anyway! See, progress.

This whole process has been by turns exciting and stressful, but I’m ultimately just really excited to see it done. And I feel really lucky and grateful that we’ve been able to do it at all. Next time I post, it’ll be of the completed project! And then, onward to the next!

A Sort of, Not Quite Snow Day

/ Katie / 9 Comments

Well, we finally got some snow last week. Unfortunately, I think we can file this one under “Close, but no cigar.”

Way less than an inch, and it all melted by about 10:30 in the morning. But hey, we’ve officially broken our snow drought! Maybe this is a sign of more to come before the end of winter. We shall see.

In the meantime, it’s all writing and Merlin and trying to get the basement bathroom done around here. How do you feel about pink shower tiles? Because that’s what I’ve chosen, and I think it’s going to look fantastic.

Can you tell it’s that kind of Monday? You know, the kind where you just can’t seem to get on top of things and your list keeps growing because you’ve forgotten stuff, and so you can’t focus on anything for more than a few seconds? Yeah, it’s that around here right now, too.

Anyway, here’s hoping it’s a good week for all of us!

Found Friday #45: The Mystery Pipe

/ Katie / 16 Comments

Work on the house continues! After finishing up (mostly) on the exterior, we’ve moved inside, and started in the basement. Our workers have relocated our washer and dryer up to our main level, which clears space for us to expand our basement bathroom.

We’ve wanted to do this for a while, as it’s our main guest bathroom and it was just really shabby and dark. And, well, they do say things look worse before they look better.

I’m not worried about that. What I am mildly concerned about is the mystery pipe they uncovered when they took down one of the walls.

We have no idea why it’s there. And it definitely means some extra work. Figuring out what it’s doing, and then figuring out if it’s needed, and then, if it’s needed, finding a better place for it, if that’s even possible.

We knew the plumbing in this house was…let’s just say, confusing. I’ve written about it before. So, we’re not surprised, and we know our crew can handle this little wrinkle. These things happen, and I’m confident that when all is said and done, we’ll have a lovely guest bathroom that I’m no longer embarrassed for our guests to actually use. (And yes, of course I’ll post pictures. 😊)

So, onward!

Meet Merlin!

/ Katie / 38 Comments

He’s new here.

No cat could ever, ever replace my sweet Gatsby, and I know I’ll always have a Gatsby-shaped hole in my heart. But we’re so happy and excited to bring Merlin into our little family, and I know that there is always space in the heart for more love.

He’s about four months old, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to be a big kitty. He’s silly, playful, affectionate, curious, and obsessed with feathers. He’s settling in well, and Annie has been…well, not friendly, but tolerant. I think they’ll get along fine. Eventually.

I’m just so grateful that we get to be his humans. Welcome home, Magic Cat.

Reflections on a Year of Reading

/ Katie / 9 Comments

I read a lot. I love reading and books, and stories. This has always been the case.

But in 2022, I decided that I wanted to branch out, try new things, and read different books than I would normally pick for myself. So, I decided to read at least two books per week – one fiction and one nonfiction. Y’all, I had fun. And I read 126 books total, which is more than usual, and I learned a lot about myself as a reader, and about some pretty cool stuff.

A lot of people I talk to have asked me questions about why I decided to read this way, and how I made it happen, so I thought I’d answer some of those questions here.

Why two books a week?

Because I figured that would force me to choose things I wouldn’t normally choose, and get outside of my comfort zone. And I knew I could do it. It might be hard to find time some weeks, but I read fast, so two books is pretty doable for me if I plan well and make time.

How did you make the time?

There’s no easy answer to this question, and there’s no easy formula for making time you don’t have. Wouldn’t that be great, though? The simple answer to this question is, I just did. If I had a free minute during the day, I spent it reading. If Graham and I didn’t have plans during the weekend, I set aside some time to read. If we took a long road trip, while Graham drove, I read. Time is a limited resource, I know, but to do anything you really want to do, you have to just choose to do it.

What do you normally read?

A little of everything. I love children’s and young adult fiction, I love mysteries, I love true crime, I love memoirs. I also really enjoy a good romance, or fantasy, or science fiction. But left to my own devices, I will read primarily fiction with some magic and romance sprinkled in. And I’m a big fan of quieter storytelling. I can’t think of a better way to describe it, but it’s this feeling I get like the story is speaking for itself without much work or embellishment from the writer. Think Kazuo Ishiguro in Never Let Me Go. The one thing I don’t always pick up readily is history, which is funny, because I love history and I’m fascinated by it.

Did you read anything this year that you didn’t like?

I respect any writer brave and bold enough to put their work out into the world. But, sure, I read a few things this year that I probably wouldn’t have finished, if not for this little project of mine. I’m not going to tell you what they are, because everyone should read what they enjoy and I don’t want to devalue any author’s hard work. But I can tell you that they were usually nonfiction books that I just didn’t find were very well-researched or compellingly written. I’m a stickler for research. Do the work, then write the book, you know?

Did you read anything you really loved?

Yes! I really enjoyed the Kamusari books by Shion Miura, which surprised me, because they’re translated, and sometimes things like colloquialisms and cultural nuance and humor don’t always translate well. But in this case, I really enjoyed them. I reread Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Patterson, and it hit differently now in my thirties than it did when I read it as a teenager. I read both Star Mother and Star Father by Charlie N. Holmberg and loved them both. Very folklore-based, which was on theme for my own writing in 2022. Ask a Historian by Greg Jenner was super fun, and Starry Messenger by Neil DeGrasse Tyson made me feel both small and infinite. And I’m glad I spent some time with Cassandra Peterson, a.k.a. Elvira, by reading her memoir, Yours Cruelly, Elvira. There are so many more I really enjoyed. It’s hard to pick favorites.

Did you learn anything really interesting?

Of course I did! Anytime you’re reading, I think you’re learning. But for the sake of specificity, if you haven’t already read them, I think you should check out The Hidden Life of Trees and The Inner Life of Animals by Peter Wohlleben. Even though I’m mostly an indoor kind of girl (that’s where the tea and comfy reading chairs are), I do love nature, and these books helped me look at things in a new way.

Aren’t you kind of bragging? I mean, no one has time to read that many books.

Someone did, in fact, ask me this, and it’s not an unfair question. I don’t mean to brag. Some people read a lot less, and some people, I know, read more. I like to read, and I like to learn, and I like to talk about what I’ve read and learned. I don’t think people who spend a lot of time working on their health and make significant progress and then excitedly share that progress are bragging. How I choose to spend my time and talk about it is just that – a choice. And setting a goal is a good way to accomplish something.

Would you do it again?

Absolutely! But not this year. It actually was quite a challenge to make the time to really read and focus on so many books. I don’t regret it at all, and I’d love to do it again, but I’ve got some other projects I want to work on this year. I am going to try to read at least one book every week, so while I’m slowing down, I’m not going to just stop reading. I don’t even think I could. I get grumpy when I don’t read. Just ask Graham.

I don’t know when I might get another chance to read so intentionally and so much, and so I’m grateful I did it in 2022. I feel like it was well worth my time, and made my life better. We’ll see what 2023 has in store, but the stories I read last year will stay with me forever. And that’s pretty damn cool, isn’t it?

In Search of Happy

/ Katie / 25 Comments

I’ll post 2023’s short story theme soon – hopefully by Monday. And I’ve got some good, exciting things on the horizon, creating-wise. But y’all, I’m just struggling.

I’ve wanted 2023 to be a fresh start, but 2022’s parting blow combined with everything that came before combined with some noisy construction combined with my general anxiety combined with this new fear I have that things will fall apart if given the opportunity (wait, that’s still anxiety, isn’t it?), it’s all got me distracted and frustrated and really out of sorts. I’m just sad. I’m sad, and I’m stressed, and I’m worried. Not sure what I’m worried about, but I am.

So, for today, I’m going to read, drink some tea, try to focus on resting my mind and my heart, and think about writing and short stories and such tomorrow. In the meantime, you can do me a favor:

Send me some recommendations for happy-making things. Your favorite books, movies, and music, board games and card games that make you smile, activities that always leave you feeling better, little moments you try to take for yourself – whatever makes you happy when you need it, leave it in a comment below. Because I need all the help I can get.

I know things will be better soon. I just hope soon means soon.

Enough (A Poem, and a Moment)

/ Katie / 13 Comments

I think I’ve cried every day since August.
I think I’ve cried more tears this year than in my entire life before it.
I think I’ve cried so many tears that the universe had to make extra to give me.
I think I’ve cried enough for more than just me and I love those women who couldn’t cry.
I think I’ve cried enough tears to fill a vast and endless and deep and wide ocean that only I can cross.
I think I’ve cried enough.
I think I’ve cried enough.
I think I’ve cried enough.

I can’t remember exactly who I was before August. But right now in this moment, after months and months, after recovering only to learn I hadn’t recovered, I think I’m ready to find her again. I know she’s waiting for me. We won’t be the same as we were. We’ll become someone new and strong and brave and happy together.

I can’t say why now is the time, when the time wasn’t before, in September, or in October, or in any of those liminal days in the autumn that I love so much.

And if you gave me a million chances to explain why I feel like I should share this with all of you, I don’t think I could tell you all the ways that knowing you’re out there reading and creating and making good things and putting them into the world has helped me heal, a little bit and a little bit, every day.

Nevertheless, here we are.

Here I am.

And I just wanted to tell you thank you and I love you for sticking with me and bringing me light, and also that I finally think I’ve cried enough.

Thankful

/ Katie / 20 Comments

2022 hasn’t been the year I thought it would be. (What year is, right?) And the latter half, especially, has been challenging and stressful and sad and just not great at all. But as we come into this week of Thanksgiving, I’m still thankful for this life.

I’m thankful for my loving family and my supportive friends.

I’m thankful for Graham. All of him. Every day.

I’m thankful for Gatsby and Annie, and their wonderful chaos, and their sweet faces.

I’m thankful for a beautiful old house that just refuses to fall down.

I’m thankful for you, kind readers, who keep coming back and reading what I put out into the world.

I’m thankful for this day, and the one that will come after, and the new chance every morning to create something good.

I’m not perfect. I’ve struggled in these last few months with some darkness I honestly didn’t know I had in me. But I know that I’ve still got so much to be thankful for, and my heart is just full of gratitude. It really, truly is.

I hope 2023 is better, but I’m still thankful for 2022 and what it’s taught me: There is always light.

Tired

/ Katie / 12 Comments

It’s what we are around here today. This fall has been a whirlwind – some good things, some not so good things, some I plan to write about, and some that I’d rather not – and as we come into the holiday season, I’m just feeling a little run down. I’m sure everyone can relate. It happens. But my gosh, I just really can’t believe it’s already November, and before we know it, we’ll be looking at 2023 on the horizon.

So, on that note, we’ve had a visit planned with Graham’s family for a while anyway, so I’ll be taking a break for the next week. I’ll be back on Friday,  November 11th. In the meantime, as we move from autumn to winter, and from spooky to festive season, I wish all of you rest, comfort, warmth, joy, and happy creating!

Sunday Supper #10: Thank you!

/ Katie / 4 Comments

My sweet, wonderful friends and followers:

Thank you so much for your kind words, for your outpouring of love, and for sharing your stories. They have been a source of strength and healing, and knowing that you’re thinking of us has helped us more than I can say.

We’re doing better, feeling better – though some days are better than others – and focusing on loving each other and moving forward the best that we can. No one can say what the future holds, but whatever that is, we know that we’ll be in it together, and we know that we are loved, supported, and surrounded by kindness.

Gratitude isn’t a strong enough word.

Just thank you. Thank you, thank you. Graham and I are everlastingly, infinitely grateful for all of you.